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Typhoon (Principia Moderni IV Map Game)

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Typhoon
Timeline: Principia Moderni IV (Map Game)
OTL equivalent: Typhoon
. 1476 - 1476
Halifax Hurricanes logo 1951-1979 (AFL) (Alternity).png
Typhoon tip peak.jpg
Location of Typhoon
CapitalThunder Bay
Official languages Wind
Ethnic groups  Debris (Rain, rocks, houses, waves, cats, dogs)
Demonym Typhoon
Religion Atheist state
Government Superstorm
 -  Storm Conjurer and Wizard JoshTheRoman
Establishment
 -  Established 11 August, 1476 
 -  Formation 14 September, 1443 
 -  Dissipation  
Currency Nothing

Typoon or The 1476 Taiwan Typhoon that Josh seems to vehemently defend despite the fact that there is no archaeological evidence or written evidence of a typhoon of this magnitude hitting Taiwan is a superstorm that lasted from 1476 to 1476 in the eastern Pacific Ocean. Typhoon is responsible for the near destruction of all major settlements on Taiwan and the near rebellion of the already-assimilated indigenous tribes, who threw away their Japanese garments with fervor and rage in favor of loincloths and spears. Typhoon later went on to hit China or something. Nobody knows. It is possible that the typhoon disappeared into a puff of warm air and utter horseshit after hitting Taiwan. This utter horseshit is said to be the most chemically-pure horseshit meteorology has ever seen, the gas methane being produced en masse.

History

FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Typhoon began somewhere in the North Pacific Ocea. Since there are no historical records of the time, it can only be reasoned that Typhoon began at the same time as three other typhoons, all of which went in various directions and hit other locations. Since we can never tell when typhoons really hit, we can assume that each typhoon wiped out many indigenous tribes. This system of superstorms went on to terrorize the Pacific Ocean and produce many hit singles. Their names? Typhoon Ringo, Typhoon John, Typhoon Paul, and Typhoon George.

Unfortunately, an area of low pressure called Lowko Ono broke most of these storms up. So afterwards, it was just Typhoon. Destitute for money and warmer waters, Typhoon began taking up several jobs. Despite a heroin addiction that could have happened since we don't exactly know whether or not superstorms did heroin in the 1470s due to improper record keeping, Typhoon pressed on, reaching Taiwan in the latter portions of the summer.

Hitting Taiwan

In late summer, 1476, Typhoon struck Taiwan. Since we don't have records of what happened in OTL, we can only assume that it actually rotated Taiwan 45 degrees to the left. This assertion cannot be disproven since maps at the time were pretty bad. They didn't even show Typhoon, much less the original orientation of Taiwan. Cartographers everywhere disagree with each other about how much Taiwan actually rotated. The University of Beijing at San Antonio published a paper on the rotation of Taiwan ("On the Rotation of Taiwan") that asserted the island merely rotated at a conservative estimate of 12.5 degrees. South Seoul Community College published a finding later that year that stated Taiwan actually flipped 180 degrees ("Taiwan Actually Rotated 180 Degrees"), which provides a larger estimate for the rotation of Taiwan. The University of Kyoto, however, has organized a rough average of all estimates and created the 45 degrees figure in its paper Can We Argue About Something Cooler?

Typhoon also destroyed a few buildings and caused the assimilated natives, which had been peaceful towards the Japanese for the better part of seven decades, to revolt. Shogun Ashikaga Yoshimura famously had very harsh feelings on this incident (Shogun Ashikaga Yoshimura and His Feelings on Taiwan's Revolt) and was inconsolable for days.

Great Methane Crisis of 1476

Unfortunately for the world, the problems were far from over. Due to the absolutely idiotic nature of this storm, the main components of this storm were not carbon dioxide and water, as they are in other storms, but methane (largely produced by horsehit and bullshit, both large factors in the creation of Taiwan) and water. This is the first recorded shitstorm ever naturally occuring on the planet. The methane released in the atmosphere acted as a localized area of insulation, raising the temperature of Taiwan by several degrees Celsius in the years to come. Due to the sheer amount of methane produced by this storm, the global temperatures began to rise.

Since Alternative History is clearly no longer Alternative History but Alternative Meteorology and other sciences, it can only be ascertained that many more storms could hit other parts of the world with global warming happening four or five centuries earlier, compared to OTL. The advent of global warming caused Al Gore to arrive from a pocket timeline and call the phenomenon "catastRAWPHIC" before returning to his pocket timeline.

Culture

Typhoon does not have a culture because it is a storm. We can change meteorology, but to change how a storm actually works is ASB.

Demographics

None

National Anthem

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