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In this Althistory, Ralph Waldo Emerson wakes up on the morning of April 12, 1849 to find a disturbing crease in his bangs and decides that the most prudent of solutions is to visit his local Bostonian Hat Shop.

No self-reliance

It was on this day that, had he not been gallivanting around Back Bay tossing about bowlers like a foppish Lincoln, he would have spent the day pensively staring out of his office window whereby he would have constructed the basic argument of his seminal prose work "on self-reliance"

Transcendentalism safe

Fortunately, his subsequent choice of a black shiny velvet top hat would in no way hinder his later forays into the pseudo-spiritual American mysticism movement. As a side note, In another Althistory Walt Whitman idles too long at a haberdasher and Leaves of Grass is never published. Instead he publishes the moderately successful Gothic-romantic inspired book of poetry, entitled "Rows of Buttons."

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