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Norris Defeats Bush! was what the American people saw on the New York Times on September 3rd, 2004. After entering the race in the final two months, Norris quickly won several states in rapid unison and became a major threat to the incumbent president. But Chuck Norris didn’t care. As many fans joked, Chuck Norris didn’t clinch the nomination, he roundhouse kicked it. After much hesitation, the Democratic party chose John Kerry as their candidate, but it would take a miracle for Kerry to win.
Norris Defeats Kerry! was what graced the Newspapers after election day after Chuck Norris won all 50 states and 90% of the electoral vote, in a victory not seen since the presidency of George Washington. With Rick Santorum as his vice president, Norris was inaugurated to jubilant thousands as Norris as stated that never again would feel the sting of terrorism as U.S troops all over the world withdrew to take part in the hunt for Bin Laden and Al Qaeda. Within a matter of months, thousands of terrorists were captured and executed for crimes against humanity. Demanding China forgive America for its debt, Norris trained the nuclear arsenal directly at Beijing, quickly forcing their compliance.
In 2007, Norris was once again re-nominated with 100% of the vote. Out of desperation, the Democrats, believing a pop culture figure could stand a chance, nominated Stephen Colbert, the talk show comedian, to run for president.
Stephen Colbert Chuck Norris Results Pending.... But Norris has a small lead over Colbert.
Norris 52%-48% Florida and Ohio still deciding.
SO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?