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President Elway

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February 1999- The Atlanta Falcons win the 1999 Superbowl. John Elway shocks the sporting community by announcing he is retiring from the sport to enter politics. He meets with Ron Paul and they have long discussions about the US constitution and the Bill of rights.

November 2000: mid-term elections- John Elway becomes the GOP senator for Colorado.

September 11 2001: Terrorists attack the World Trade Center. Unfortunately for Elway, his wife dies in the attacks as she was going on holiday on flight 93.

October 11 2002: Senator Elway manages to block the Joint resolution in a very famous filibuster, which went on the internet.

October 4 2003: Elway announces he is considering a run for the presidency on a paleoconservative platform on the Alex Jones Show. Ron Paul advises caution to Elway, saying that he hasn't enough experience.

October 18, 2003: After two weeks of talking back and forth, Ron Paul finally agrees that Elway can go ahead and run for the U.S. Presidency. A secret agreement is reached between the two men that Elway, should he become the GOP nominee, will consider Ron Paul first as a running mate.

January 2004: Elway does surprisingly well in the Iowa Caucus. Although Bush does defeat him, Elway, because of his surprisingly strong oratory skills, comes in a close second.

August 2004: After a very bitter primary contest where Elway has received 15 Million votes to Bush's 20, Bush is renominated for President of the United States. Bush and Cheney seek, to no avail, Elway's endorsement.

November 2004: Bush defeats Massachusetts Senator John Kerry in the general election with 274 electoral votes.

August 1 2005: Bush tells congress that there is a greater threat than Saddam: North Korea. Elway walks out of the senate saying to the press "can you believe the **** this guy is saying?"

August 7 2005: After North Korea refuses to halt nuclear enrichment, Bush says that "America is left with no other choice" and the Second Korean War breaks out.

May 1, 2006: Elway marries again to Paige Green, a former Raiders cheerleader who he met while visiting his home in Denver.

June 6 2006: Elway talks to Alex Jones about running again in '08. After Bush's disastrous foreign policy in light of the Second Korean war (which ends up in less of a quagmire than Iraq, but still a strain on the Bush administration.), everyone thinks Elway has an actual chance at the nomination.

March 2008: After coming in third in the Iowa Caucus, Elway rebounds and has won every contest since. At St.Paul in August, he is confirmed as the GOP nominee.

September 1, 2008: A woman comes forward claiming that she had an on-again, off-again sexual affair with Elway while he was quarterback of the Broncos. Elway's 12 point lead over Barack Obama shrinks to 2 overnight.

September 2 2008: Elway tries to regain his 12 point lead by the "red phone ad" and citing obama's renewing of the patriot act, which gives Elway a 5 point lead over obama.

September 5 2008: Senator Elway considers going on national television with his wife to do the reverse of what Clinton did: to "come clean" to the American public. However, his advisors Dick Morris and David Gergen tell him not to because it could backfire.

September 7, 2008: Acting on the advise of Dick Morris, Elway makes a bold move on his already-delayed running mate choice, designed to divert attention from his past womanizing: He announces in Ohio that he has chosen Ron Paul as his running mate, honoring a promise from last time.

September 9, 2008: Joe Biden, Obama's running mate, makes a remark that will backfire and come back to haunt him and the ticket. "Ron Paul's a pretty good guy, just a little radical."

September 27, 2008: The first debate comes back with somewhat mixed results: Both men score well on the economy, and Elway does slightly better on the issue of foreign policy. The media correctly calls it a draw. One concern that the Elway camp has is with Elway coming across as too self-assured.

October 1, 2008: Elway scores a few points when he first criticizes Biden's statement and then runs a new ad called "who is Joe Biden calling Radical?" which criticizes Obama's associations with the Rev. Wright and others and takes a backhanded swipe at Biden's logic as well.

October 5, 2008: Because of the ad, Elway's lead in most polls has rose slightly to seven points.

October 12, 2008: Obama counters, with a below-the-belt ad discussing Elway's indiscretions and which begins with Clinton's famous denials of the Monica Lewinsky affair.

October 14, 2008: Obama's ad is neither hurts or helps his chances, as the latest polls show.

October 17, 2008: Obama comes out with another ad criticizing Elway's reputation for a temper and ego during his playing days. Many commentators are starting to accuse Obama of the "kitchen sink" strategy. The Elway seven-point lead would continue with minor fluctuations throughout.

November 4, 2008: Although Obama does better than expected because of the Wall Street and economic difficulties, Elway pulls it out with 299 electoral votes to Obama's 239. Most Americans know that Elway won before going to bed that night.

November 5, 2008: A day after his victory speech, Elway announces that he wishes to "hit the ground running" with a program called "Comeback for America", which is a play of words on his playing days. He announces that he is planning on streamlining many government progams, bailing out several companies with loans, and reviving a Job Corps-like program to help unemployment.

January 20: John Elway is sworn in as the 44th President of the United States.

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