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Hitler's Almost Immortal

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As the Allies approach Berlin, Hitler addresses the nation. He pulls out a gun, sticks it in his mouth, and pulls the trigger. To the surprise of everyone, he is not dead. Hitler announces that he is immortal, and therefore unstoppable. This generates great confidence in the Germans, and the Allies lose morale. Germany makes a comeback, and by 1945 has retaken France. It develops the bomb, and drops it on London and Washington. Britain and the United States surrender. By 1947, the entire world, except for Japan, is under German control. Then, the next year Germany nukes Tokyo and Japan surrenders.

Hitler's Reign of Terror

Hitler rules as a very brutal, immortal overlord for the next several decades. Then, in 2000 an alien spaceship emerges from a wormhole next to Earth. It is out of control, and lands on Hitler's not-immortal brother, crushing him. Hitler visits the scene to retrieve his brother's stethoscope, since his brother was a doctor, but the good resistance leader, Gary Linder, who has magical powers, fixes the stethoscope on the alien, and tells him not to let go of it. The angry Hitler flies off in his fighter jet. The alien is told to follow the Autobahn to see the Jew of Ok, a secret underground town. On his way the alien meets an industrial worker, a farmer, and an army defector. Hitler, in all his genius, puts opium poppies on the Autobahn so they all get really high and decide to go to sleep. But Gary Linder shows up, and wakes them up. After going through detox, they continue on and reach Ok.

Ok

At the gate of Ok. they knock on the door, but the guard will not let them in. The alien sings about how he wants to go home. It touches the guard so much, he lets them in. When they get inside they meet the Jew of Ok, and the industrial worker asks for a new hammer, the farmer for a pitchfork, and the defector to join the resistance. The alien asks to go home. So they make a deal. They'll get all those things if they go find Hitler. and kill him.

To the Führer's Palace

On their way to the Führer's Palace, they have to face several armed guards, but they finally get inside. They try to kill Hitler with bullets, rubber chickens, dinosaur bones, hammers, pitchforks, and umbrellas, but none of that works. Finally, the alien takes a bucket of water and pours it on to Hitler. Hitler melts.

Afterwards

They return, and everyone celebrates Hitler's death. The Jew of Ok gives them all what they want except the alien, but Gary Linder goes to the alien, and shows him that his stethoscope is really a wormhole generator. He turns it on, and Earth is sucked through the wormhole to the Alpha Centauri system. The planet of Earth is right next to the planet Zorblatz, the one the alien came from. And both planets coexist in peace throughout all time.

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  • Hitler's Imortal

    6 messages
    • We've all been there, done that. We were all noobs once, although some longer than others.
    • this is literally the best thing ive ever seen

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