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AOL CDs Never Stop

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Microsoft 2014 Super Bowl Commercial Empowering-001:01

Microsoft 2014 Super Bowl Commercial Empowering-0

Microsoft's 2014 Super Bowl ad, stolen from AOL

AOL 17 CD Example

An example of an AOL CD.

AOL never stops sending CDs. This leads to more hours free than there are hurricanes from 1871 onwards.


  • 2006: AOL announces that New CDs will be made with more eco-friendly methods, but keeps their CD production speed.
  • October 1, 2006: AOL adds a new version for Wi-fi. It's the first time AOL supported Wi-fi.
  • 2007: AOL releases version 10 with new CDs. There are more CDs made daily than the whole 2010 census population of Jamaica.
  • June 2007: AOL creates a Hypercane that destroys the headquarters of various rival companies. They make more hypercanes later on.
  • 2008: AOL releases version 11. More designs come. Version 11 includes Firefox.
  • September 2008: AOL releases the first time machine, AOL TimeWarp. It's used to buy out companies that were bought out by others in the real events. For example, AOL saves Jetix by buying it out from Disney.
  • 2009: AOL changes their logo, slapping it to all CDs that have version 12, the first version to support Windows 7, and the first version to be Intel-native on macs.
  • November 2009: AOL invents the Ray Gun. It's first test was done to damage Google's Headquarters
  • 2010: AOL releases version 13. At this point, AOL broke the record of Coca-Cola to become the most well-known brand of all time.
  • February 2010: AOL buys out Movie Gallery and convert all of their stores to Hollywood Video, making it their competitor to Netflix.
  • 2011: AOL releases version 14, with support for modern web standards. It supports cloud storage. It's also the first version to include Hollywood Video free with the subscription.
  • April 2011: AOL invents Mind Control, to get people to switch to them, and to get MSN employees to quit their jobs for AOL's jobs.
  • 2012: AOL releases version 15, the first version to support Windows 8.
  • December 21, 2012: AOL releases the first real-life lightsaber, after testing it on Earthlink's Headquarters
  • 2013: AOL releases version 16, the first version to support Linux.
  • May 2013: AOL releases SmartVR, the first successful Virtual Reality device.
  • 2014: AOL releases version 17. Some other things happen.
  • July 2014: AOL patents the first power armor, which they call "AOL WebArmor"
  • 2015: AOL releases version 18, with support for iPhones and Android phones (Finally!), with releases in the App Store and Google Play.
  • May 2015: AOL patents the first Human Teleportation device, and uses it to send AOL CDs at faster rates. Teleportation Accident Deaths are prevented, but some CDs may be lost in the teleporation accidents.


These are the news, only from AOL!

  • September 19, 2014: Hypercane Mimi confirmed to last until 2020.
  • September 20, 2014: Android acquired by AOL, renamed AOL Android
  • September 21, 2014: Android gets new code name system, based on planets
  • September 22, 2014: AOL demolishes Google Headquarters, Google founds Nazi Google
  • September 28, 2014: AOL introduces AOL Kidz on MyNetworkTV, continuing the traditional Saturday Morning Cartoon concept. It will debut on October 4.
  • October 4, 2014: AOL Kidz premieres with controversy, turns Litton Entertainment employee into zombie
  • November 30, 2014: Sorry about the lack of news.
  • December 27, 2014: AOL has announced that they're buying out Aereo, a former TV startup. Their assets are now gonna be in AOL TV, which is licenced by TV networks. Other details have yet to be confirmed.
  • May 17, 2015: AOL TV's full details have been released, including the release date, which is on June 21, 2015.
  • November 25, 2015: AOL TV has finally been released, after some unexplained delays. Also, AOL 19 has been announced, supporting Windows 10. A new interface that's like flat design, but with skeuomorphism to make the flat design look like neon, has also been revealed.

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